A blog about nothing in particular, with puns, drawings, and charts because I'm too lazy to write a lot.
All originial content by @DuckSauceGeoff

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Why I Don't Like Watching Hockey (or Soccer) on TV

I have a hard time turning down tickets to any kind of sporting event. It doesn't matter what it is - give me a decent seat, hand me a hot dog, and I'll enjoy it. And though I'm not some kind of die-hard fan, hockey games are particularly fun. I just cannot watch hockey on TV. Here's why:
I watch and watch, but nobody scores. So, I change the channel for one minute to see what else is on, and without fail, I turn it back to find that someone scored while I was away. Every time I change the channel, look down at my iPad, or just lose focus, a goal is scored. It's as if I'm only allowed to see goals on replays.

Anything is better than watching soccer, though:
I never see soccer goals either, but that's mostly because no one seems to ever score, period. I guess it's a good nap-inducer. At least it's good for something. 

Sunday, March 30, 2014

G.O.A.T. Cheese: The Greatest Cheese of All Time

Goat cheese is one of the fastest-growing cheese varieties in the US. So, how does a company get in on the trend and set itself apart from all the other options that already exist? Better yet, how does a company capitalize on the industry's growth without having access to any goats?

Well, just forget about the goats. All you need are some smoke and mirrors, a decent pun, and a little help from some celebrity endorsers:
*G.O.A.T. stands for Greatest of All Time
*Not made from goat milk
*Just buy it anyway
*Stop reading the fine print

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

A Real "I Heart You" Valentine's Day Card

Just a little Valentine's Day card from Dumb & Dumber's Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey). I think it's one of the sweeter "I Heart You" pictures I've seen. I guess the real heart makes it feel more authentic.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Shia LaBeouf Stole the Paper Bag Look

Shia LaBeouf turned a lot of heads by wearing a paper bag at the premiere of his new movie. And while he certainly made a statement, let's not pretend this was anything original:
 Sorry, Shia, but Cleveland Browns fans have been doing this for years:
Looks like Shia is plagiarizing again. Sad.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Want to See a Brown Recluse?

I found a Brown Recluse in a crayon box. Weird, right? I guess it's a nice place to hang out.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Chick-fil-A's New Slogan is Crazy

Is this Chick-fil-A's new slogan?
Chickfila Religious
Ok, it's obviously not. But it could be, right?

I loved all the "realistic slogans" on BuzzFeed and Huffington Post (which were based on this Reddit post) last year, so I just thought I'd try my hand at it. 

And here's one more, just because it was easy:

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Haters in History: 1787 - Haters at the Constitutional Convention

People even had to deal with haters back in the 18th century. The haters were pretty good at puns, too.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

The Full of Shit Scale: Running Into a "Friend" Edition

While I'm gearing up for some awkward Thanksgiving Eve conversations tonight, I thought I'd share a handy little Full-of-Shit Scale. How full of shit will I be tonight? I'll be hitting all five stages, for sure.